is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize