We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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