He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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