Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
