kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
