Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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