In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
