STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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