so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
