I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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