No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
