I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
