You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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