lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
