I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
