I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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