I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
bring money and cleavage
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Randomize
