sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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