I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
