shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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