whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
