Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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