i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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