Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
