called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
