so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
