so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
