What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
