Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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