But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
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you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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