Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
