she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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