CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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