Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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