There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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