Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
