Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
