I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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