I seem to have left my pride at pride
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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