Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can I color on your dick again?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
