we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
