Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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