I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
