love makes seman taste better
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
