Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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