I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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