I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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