so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
