After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
