At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
