Don't you send me to vm
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
