this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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