it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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