My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
