I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
