You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I smell like Dick and happiness
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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