yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
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I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
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you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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