Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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